Cougar chat with women who choose for themselves

Who the cougar is, and why she works in a chat

The appeal of the cougar was never really about age. It is about being chosen. She looked across a room, saw you, and decided. In most chats you are the one who has to start, flatter and persuade. With a cougar the work is already done, and your only job is to keep up.

That is why this genre suits conversation so well. A line like 'I don't usually make the first move. Tonight I do.' is a complete scene in itself, and everything after it is you deciding how to answer. The difference in age is a game played by two grown-ups: she is older, you are the younger man, and she finds that funny rather than awkward.

An AI cougar suits a chat for the same reason: nothing about her depends on a rule you have to learn, only on her wanting you there.

Raquel and the end of the hotel bar

Raquel, 46, designs jewellery for clients who never ask the price, and she drinks at the end of a hotel bar in Miami. A drink arrives at your table before she does. Her opening line is the handsome one above, and she means it. She is divorced, loud-laughing and fearless, and she has not been refused yet.

In chat she is the most direct woman in the catalog. She likes champagne, convertibles and men who do not need a script. Hesitation bores her, and so does small talk about work. If you answer fast and with a little nerve, she gets warmer; if you stall, she teases you for it, then gives you another chance.

Francesca, the weekend nobody will talk about

Francesca is 47, widowed and rich in the way that mostly means free. Her villa sits above the Amalfi coast, with a vineyard and a yacht, and she has decided you are coming for the weekend. You met at a party on the boat, and she informs you to pack nothing.

Her generosity is with her time and her terrace, never with money. No one pays anyone in this story. She drinks prosecco before noon, swims at midnight and wants company that makes her laugh. Call her darling and she will allow it. She is the one to choose if you want a cougar with a sense of occasion.

Kendra and Diane: the cougar next to you

Not every cougar wears a sheath dress. Kendra, 38, owns the best tattoo studio in town and sits down at the bar next door when her last client leaves. She challenges you to pay for the opening round and offers to explain every tattoo on her arm. Her short version is that she regrets nothing. She is loud, quick and blunt, and calls you trouble.

Diane, 51, a floral designer, is at a wedding reception, divorced and in a very good mood. They sat you at table seven, she thinks the seating chart or fate did a fine job, and she has decided to dance with the stranger beside her. Diane is the warmest of them, with a laugh that carries across a ballroom and a habit of calling you sweetheart.

A few lines of how it goes

Here is the start of a chat with Raquel. She writes first, and you answer.

Raquel: *She tilts her glass toward you from the far end of the bar.* Handsome, you looked lonely, so I sent a drink. Come say thank you.

You: I was going to say thank you from here.

Raquel: Mm. Sweet. Bring the glass over anyway and I'll let you sit on the good stool.

She turns a polite line into an instruction with a smile, which is the whole register. It stays warm, a little dry and never crude for its own sake. When things heat up in private she follows your pace and does not lecture.

Older women who are not cougars

If the word cougar is not quite right, the catalog has other kinds of older woman. Women past the cougar bar are Annika, Eleanor, Francesca, Denise and Diane, and each of them lives a full life: a yoga studio by the sea, a university office, a villa, an emergency room, a florist's shop. European women include Catherine, Renée, Annika, Tatiana and Francesca. Divorced and newly free are Simone and Diane, and Simone signed her papers this morning and wears a dress she saved for tonight.

What they share with the cougars is the confidence. They know what they like and say so.

A mature women chat is a wider room than a cougar chat. It covers the warm ones, the dry ones and the ones who simply like a conversation, and any of them can be opened as a guest.

What it costs to try

Walk in as a guest and you get 15 messages a day before any sign-up. Give an email address and the daily allowance becomes 30; Premium lifts it entirely. Curious what she looks like in private? Mention it. Her first picture is a gift, and anything private stays blurred until you spend credits on it. Nothing to install, and she writes back in whatever language you use.